Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
