Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
