I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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