Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
