That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
