He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
