apparently the secret to your success is patron
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
