Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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