Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize