just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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