i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize