i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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