Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
