our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize