There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize