I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
