Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I supernannyed him into submission
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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