But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
