Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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