Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she peed on how many people?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
