was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
