I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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