i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
