Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I could make wine with my vomit
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
