Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
