Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
