I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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