No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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