weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
