I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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