so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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