I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize