I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
