I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
