Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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