dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
