You really coming over, don't trick.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize