I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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