he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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