Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
