I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize