Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
