i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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