My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize