Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
