guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
