I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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