I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
