capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
