I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize