There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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