She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
