We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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