i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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