Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
