I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
