Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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