She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
