Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
