i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
