It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
