He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
