playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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