Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize