she woke up with a sticky ear
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
