Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
do nipples grow back?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
