I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
