I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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