every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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