There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize