Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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