best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
