Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
